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Joke of the Day

"Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated."

Next Joke
 
"How does a musician make a million dollars? They start with 2 million."
"Once I was Walking And I kept Walking :p That's all how are doing today ? What' time is it at your house ? Are you married ?"
"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy cannibals and the girls cross country team? The pygmy cannibals are cunning runts."
"Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up"
"My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!"
"In general my philosophy is do whatever you want if it doesn't hurt people and it's not two spaces after a period."
"Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head."
"*something awful happens* *checks if Mercury is in retrograde*"
"A r/news mod walks into a bar [Removed]"