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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar So a man walked into the bar carrying a roll of Tarmac. He orders one pint and one for the road."

"I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn't even eat them."

"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on the inside of her thigh. If I put my ear on it I can smell the sea."

"Son, I found some drugs in your backpack ""Dad I swear they're not mine"" DAMMIT SUSAN, THEY ARENT HIS. 1st time we were proud and you blew it"

"If Panic! At the disco were Mexican... They would be called Hispanics at the disco"

"I have a condition where I spontaneously tell jokes at random times I think it's a gag reflex."

"If you're behind someone at an ATM late night, let them know you're not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck."

"How can you tell if a hippy came to your house? He's still there."

"When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes spread all over my bedroom...so my wife can clean up after me one more time."

"What's the difference between a gay guy and Hitler? About 45 degrees"