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Joke of the Day

"Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die."

"Do you want to hear a bad joke? *my life* Sorry if that was not likeable and miserable, *just like my face* Okay, I am going to stop before it gets too dark and too empty, *just like my soul.*"

"How many US Congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh, please. Like they've ever changed anything that needed it."

"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? The pilot you racist assholes."

"A horny male giant went to college.... He got a degree in giantities."

"Sex is like ping pong. I suck at it."

"Birdie birdie in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye I didn't cry I didn't sigh I thank god cows can't fly"

"My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Star Wars'. I said: ""May divorce be with you."""

"How do you get a jew out of his car? Tell him it runs on gas"

"I've been looking for the lid for this Tupperware container and somehow I'm now three weeks late for work."