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Joke of the Day
"A man walks into a bar. It knocks him out cold."
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"50 Shades of Grey banned by Indonesia. ""We cannot condone this depravity,"" said Muhammad Adul, accompanied by his 9-year-old wife."
"An Art Thief is Sitting in His Driveway... He didn't have any Monet, to buy Degas, to make his Van Gogh."
"What's the difference between a twitcher and a stutterer? One's a bird watcher and the other's a word botcher!"
"Knock knock Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes your cuzin, let me in."
"It took me a long time to figure out how one could like EDM music. I didn't think Electrical Discharge Machining could even make music."
"The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself ""do I want to see it?"" If you do, it's not on Netflix."
"""do you know why i pulled you ov.. are you.. pinocchio?"" yea, so what ""is that a hooker?"" uh.. nope, no *his nose hits the fuckin moon*"
"What did the popular astrophysicist's father say to him after his cleat came undone at soccer practice? ""Kneel in the grass and tie, son."""
"[undercover FBI agent steps out of his surveillance van, knocks on my front door] do you ever stop eating?"