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Joke of the Day

"How nice would it be if when you started rubbing yourself a genie came out, finished you off, cleaned you up & left a chocolate chip cookie."

"""Mah son's real smart!"" crowed the redneck mother to an acquaintance. ""He's only six but he can already spell his name backwards and forwards!"" ""What's his name?"" asked the friend. ""Bob."""

"no dude, if i wash my hands BEFORE going to the bathroom then they won't get my genitals dirty and i won't have to wash my hands after. duh"

"A guy walks into a bar ... and orders a drink."

"*put cooked chicken in oven* *offer to cook date dinner* *put raw chicken in oven* *immediately pull out cooked chicken* *keep eye contact*"

"I really want to tell you guys my 9/11 joke .. but it's just two plane"

"Which doesn't belong: Meat, a Blow Job, Your Wife, An Egg A blowjob, because you can't beat a blowjob."

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag? You take the f out of ""safe"" and the f out of ""way""."

"I just ended a 5 years long relationship I'm fine, it wasn't my relationship."

"What goes well with a mans jean jacket? A suicide note."