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Joke of the Day

"I keep photos of my wife and children in my wallet. They sit in the pockets where my money used to be."

"Duck Jokes What do you call a duck addicted to crack? A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack? Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car? His windshield was quacked."

"Why was the haunted mansion self conscious? Because it got a lot of creepy stairs. FML."

"BBC:when a women is attracted to a man, she speaks in a higher pitch than normal That explains why every woman I talk to sounds like Batman"

"Have you ever walked into a room and forgot what you went in for? I done it the other day, I walked in and completely forgot why - my mind went blank. 3 seconds later I shat myself."

"the only thing getting in the way of my diet is food"

"Dear girls, not every guy is in love with you, sometimes they like your prettier friend and need your help."

"Rant ""What do we want!?"" ""No daylight savings!"" ""When do we want it!?"" ""An hour ago!!!"""

"What do you call a snobby criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending"

"""YOLO"" giggled the 53rd incarnation of Buddha"