153865

Joke of the Day

"[Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died."

"Which program do Jedis use to open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi."

"Obama: Dave, it's Barack, we have an updog situation at the white house. Cameron: What's updog? *Obama high fives entire oval Office*"

"What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!"

"What do you call a Jamaican proctologist Pokemon"

"*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate..."

"What kind of girl does a hamburger like? Any girl named Patty!"

"Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. "

"What do you call a flat chested girl? Manchester Mehboob (translation from hindi : lover)"

"Once you understand they're unwilling time travelers dropped here moments earlier, the confused actions of squirrels suddenly make sense."