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Joke of the Day

"The Mexican word of the day is ""Wheelchair"" For example, ""Hey mang, I see you don't have a lunch today so wheelchair mine."""

"Does everyone have that ONE follower who will Fav the hell outta every RT...but wouldn't even piss on your own tweets if they were on fire?"

"You'd think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrong side-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10."

"Come on, there has got to be at least one business like show business."

"So Helen Keller walks into a bar . . . . . . then she walks into a table, she knocks over a lamp, barks her shins on the ottoman, spills a drink . . . it's fine I'll show myself out."

"What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine? Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one."

"As a form of protest against non-moving escalators, I get on and just stand there. Hours sometimes. It's not like I have anywhere to get to."

"Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring."

"What is the best way to lose money? A: Lend it to Greece."

"What do you call a wandering caveman? A meanderthal."