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Joke of the Day

"God, grant me serenity to accept that people are ignorant, courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile & wisdom to realize murder is illegal."

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs. God please don't kill Kevin Bacon."

"There's a fine line Between a numerator and a denominator."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One doesn't scream when you put it in an oven"

"So I have had this joke in my mind for awhile but cannot figure out the best delivery... Why is it ok for police to keep rape kits in their cars? but if I have one, I am some sort of criminal."

"Steve Jobs will be back He's an Android afterall."

"How does an elephant climb a tree? He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up."

"""I've been waiting for this my whole life"" I thought as the man pointed the gun at my head and demanded I recite ""Bohemian Rhapsody"""

"Before. b-e-f-o-r-e, not B4. We speak English, Not bingo..."

"Why did the knight stop using the internet? Because he was sick of chainmail."