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Joke of the Day

"i don't always watch soft core porn, but when i do i watch XX. stay horny my friends."

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is 'contempt' ME: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: [mocking voice] can you use it in a sentence?"

"Hey dude, can you make a pamphlet for me? For you bro? Sure."

"I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said NaBrO"

"What's the difference between a hand towel and toilet paper? ""What?"" ""You aren't coming to my house"""

"[Victora's Secret] Wife: You're the most supportive person I know. *A person made of bras walks by* Me: Um what about that guy?"

"No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in their coffee."

"Thank you Facebook for putting everyone's Facebook page link on their Facebook page. I would have never found their page without it."

"My wife is like a new credit card. 0% interest for 12 months."

"Spidy nonsense Sometimes I feel like spider man. Once I had Gwen Stacy, now I just have Mary Jane."