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Joke of the Day

"[Victora's Secret] Wife: You're the most supportive person I know. *A person made of bras walks by* Me: Um what about that guy?"

"Hear about the new gay sitcom? ""Leave it, it's Beaver."" "

"Pythagoras was a skeptic... ...but now he believes in angles"

"Legally changing my name to Pumpkin Spice Latte so my wife will love me more."

"I was having dinner .. .. .. with Garry Kasporov and on the table was a checkered tablecloth. It took him 2 hours to pass me the salt."

"[I open my lunchbox to find a copy of the Magna Carta] But that means... [cut to British Library patrons thoughtfully examining a Capri Sun]"

"Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere. I sold them all on the black market."

"Too sick to walk to the drugstore. Anyone have a recipe for turning meth back into cold medicine?"

"Simba was walking too slow... So I told him to Mufasa."

"HILARY AND THE TRUTH Hilary Clinton saying she is going to tell the truth is like an atheist saying 'God bless you.'"