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Joke of the Day

"911: What is your emergency. M: I need to report a home invasion. This woman looks like my mother in law but she's smiling. Please hurry."

"What does a Russian say before having sex? I'm Putin it in."

"Why did John F. Kennedy die? He was too open-minded."

"I lost my thumb in a serious movie rating accident."

"Girl wins a watch ""Mom, the old man down the street told me that if I sucked his dick he'd give me THIS WATCH!"""

"What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag's a big plus."

"My doctor encouraged me to masturbate more often Well, he actually said I could have a stroke any time."

"I wanted to make a ""two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff"" joke, but um... ...tsh."

"u have one (1) new dad. click here to accept Todd."

"The difference between a comedian and a psycopath is good delivery"