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Joke of the Day

"Squirrels are like cigarettes. They are completely harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light them on fire."

"A Rabbi's money maker. A man asks a Rabbi if he gets paid for the circumcisions. The Rabbi says - No, I can't do that! I just Keep the tips!"

"Asian Pregnancy Test: Insert Rubix cube into Vagina. Pull it out 30 seconds later. If its solved....... you are pregnant."

"A famous pornstar died yesterday. My penis was at half-mast."

"I thought a vasectomy would prevent me from having babies. But all it does is change the color of my babies."

"What kind of bee makes milk? A boobee!"

"I finally figured out what flies and mosquitoes are for. They're gods way of making us slap ourselves."

"What's good about Switzerland? Not much, but the flag is a big plus."

"Your greatness is measured by the font-size of your obituary."

"Teacher: You can do anything you set your mind to [I try to sneak outta class but somehow mess up the pull door twice] Except maybe that guy"