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Joke of the Day
"It's so annoying when you're trying to poison someone but they're just not thirsty :("
Next Joke
"I'm obsessed with power buttons They just turn me on."
"I was highly offended until I realised HR were calling me incompetent and not incontinent."
"A psychology study suggests that when you are single, all you see are happy couples, When you are committed, you see happy singles."
"Wonder how many novels Stephen King wrote this morning."
"What's the cheapest kind of meat? ...Deer balls, They're under a buck!"
"""Oh my god I can't believe someone would pronounce my name exactly how it's spelled!!!"" - people with stupid names"
"A grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a beer... ...the bartender says,""You know, there's a drink named after you."" The grasshopper replies, ""There's a drink named Murray?"""
"How many ears does Captain Picard have? A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear."
"Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish. Tomorrow I need to learn how to tie my shoes with one hand."