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Joke of the Day

"I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out."

"Did you hear about the shy masturbating turtle? he really came out of his shell"

"A guy told me he wanted to go to a costume party dressed as an Italian island. I told him, ""Ah, don't be Sicily."""

"I can't believe after all this shit they're still together! Our ass-cheeks really deserve some respect."

"What do you call fake spaghetti? An *imposta.*"

"Sign language is a pretty handy skill"

"Back in my day we didn't call meeting strangers from the Internet in random places for a weekend ""tweet ups"" we called it ""shit you dont do"""

"Q: Why did the apple cry? A: Its peelings were hurt."

"What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!"

"r/Jokes Do you know any jokes told in the first person? I always enjoy a good joke told as if it actually happened to the person telling it. Know any good ones?"