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Joke of the Day

"I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out."

"What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight rises."

"The Titanic was a German philosopher... It got famous for sinking."

"*adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms*"

"[meeting a girl at the bar] ME (nervously cracking every knuckle): hi I'm brandon GIRL: please let go of my hands"

"What do you call a British nanny with an MDMA addiction? Molly Poppins."

"My lesbian neighbors got me a Rolex for Christmas I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch."

"Welcome to innuendo club. This is going to be a long and hard session, if you know what I mean."

"What does the sun and cleavage have in common? You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses."

"Dear parents who line up 45 minutes early in the school pick-up line, I don't understand."