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Joke of the Day

"What's the best think about leaving California? No more Mexican food and anal sex on Tuesdays."

"What do you call an Irishman who's had eight beers? The designated driver."

"If experience has taught me anything, I've forgotten what it was."

"""Please refrain, Angry God, from using the Newspaper of Doom"" the Spider King cries as he orders another sacrifice into your sleeping mouth"

"I'm agnostic. What happens when I die? Idk..."

"As a middle class first world citizen, I still feel I know just as much about working in a sweatshop in China as the children themselves. After all, I've walked a mile in their shoes."

"What did the little acorn say when it got planted and grew up? Geometry."

"Why can't my girlfriend perform at open mic night? Because she's a cover thief."

"There are 10 kinds of people... ... Those that understand binary, and those that don't :)"

"*Wildebeest film crew clatters into David Attenborough's bedroom* ATTENBOROUGH: What the- WILDEBEEST DIRECTOR: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT DAVID"