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Joke of the Day

"Told my 4 yo that his hamster died and that was in heaven with God. 4yo: Why would God want a dead hamster?"

"Charm me with your intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk."

"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull."

"What ""bus"" crossed the ocean? Columbus."

"Have you heard of the italian chef that died? He pasta away!"

"Giving people the finger while driving just isn't effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed."

"Conductor: Again from measure 5 if you please. Voice from viola section: But Maestro we have no measure numbers."

"My uncle has one leg. He's got a second one as as well. But he also has one"

"You know what they saw about a guy with a large carbon footprint He is a big dick"

"the refrigerator is a clear example that what matters is whats inside"