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Joke of the Day
"How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months."
Next Joke
"Bartender: What can I get you, gorgeous? Me: The blood of all my enemies. Bartender: Me: Bartender: Me: Miller Light"
"What do you call an elderly vampire? Grampire."
"How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House? All right, all right, all right.."
"My pet rabbit, Nickel, just died. So I buried him in the yard. Now I just have a Nickel-less cage."
"Her: *smiles* You fill those out very nicely. Me: (looks at jeans)Thanks. Bank Teller: Sir, could you please pass back the forms? Me: Ohh!"
"If Trump played Pokemon Go He'd probably catch'em all and transfer them away."
"Contents of my wallet just spilled all over the cashier's counter, so embarrassing, spiders everywhere."
"RULE OF THUMB: If a movie trailer makes me mutter, ""No one wants to see that,"" then about 50-100 million people will want to see that."
"We need a new name for the Bible. How about: DIY Salvation"