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Joke of the Day

"I'm so hipster... I wear modern clothes before anybody in the future wears them as hipster fashion."

"I always keep a windchime next to the bed so I can brush my fingers across it as my lover climaxes"

"So last night I had a stroke of genius. Two nights ago I named my penis Genius."

"Nobody heard those terrorist attacks coming... Never forget the tragic events of mime-eleven"

"The new Pope So now that the new Pope is Argentinian they may say that they own Vatican City because they had a temporary residance there. It's not like it has happend before."

"Jared Fogle asked me a question. ""On a scale of 1-10, what's your age?"""

"If you hold the ocean up to your ear, it sounds just like a sea shell."

"Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone? He didn't have any body to go with him."

"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... ...so I went out and got drunk."

"Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you? Chihuahua: No I was playing throw with her!"