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Joke of the Day

"A haunted house that has a room where a bunch of women ask you ""Notice anything different about my hair?"""

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"oooooo ....that went deep I was at the drug store buying condoms and the cashier said .... would you like a bag with those sir.... I said... nahh shes not that ugly....."
"[Seahawks locker room] Coach: okay if we want to win we will need to have a bigger number for the score! Wilson: well put! Well put!"
"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office with nothing but saran wrap on. Psychiatrist says, ""I can clearly see your nuts"""
"How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto In a bucket"
"Hey, do you see that big yellow thing in the sky ? Yeah, the world revolves around that. Not you."
"At school today, the teacher pointed to me with a ruler, The teacher said ""There is in idiot at the end of this ruler!"" So i asked ""Which end?"""
"""Hermit crab"" describes me twice."
"A cobbler was once elected the mayor of a small town. People thought he was a real shoe-in."
"A student brought me 20 huge homemade chocolate chip cookies today. Good thing I have self-control--I saved one for my kids. To split."