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Joke of the Day

"A student brought me 20 huge homemade chocolate chip cookies today. Good thing I have self-control--I saved one for my kids. To split."

"Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day? - A: Mice cream"

"What are your go to jokes? I was at an event the other day and someone asked ""So... anyone know any jokes?"" What's everyone's ""go to"" joke in social situations?"

"1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes."

"Why does America spell colour without the u? because fuck u"

"So I've decided that my wifi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection."

"""I don't know the government, and I'm not giving them any of my coins."" - my 4yo after I explained taxes"

"Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work? A: In case they have to draw blood."

"They say playing video games is a waste of time, but I credit Tetris for the speed and agility I display when bagging my own groceries."

"God: u can ask me 1 question me: ok if the singular of geese is goose is the singular of sheep a shoop God: [later] devil: welcome to hell"