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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend never swears in public... But when we're talking dirty around the house she curses like a sailor, and it really turns me on. I guess it's true, women should be obscene but not heard."

Next Joke
 
"Hey Tim Burton, it's okay to be out of ideas."
"Startup idea Dating app for pedophiles, Kinder. [huh?](/s ""Yiddish for 'children'. Also, 'pssss, wanna buy a startup?'"")"
"Have girl problem? Feel bad for you son. I live in Russia. Have 99 problems. Bear ate car. Wife ate bear. Son ate wife. I eat son now?"
"I try not to tell people I had shoddy dental implants done, but whenever in a conversation, it just comes out."
"Campbell's Soup annual business meeting Current products are selling fine...See everyone next year."
"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? A: Conservation of momentum. _____ *Also, give me your best dark jokes, I've been out of it a few years and I need to get some new material.*"
"Facebook is a good reminder that I went to school with idiots."
"I texted my girlfriend ""goodnight, love you"" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings."
"Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America? Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China."