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Joke of the Day
"Went to the proctologist ... ended up with a ;"
Next Joke
"rubbish invention I made a sandal for people with only one leg. it was a flop."
"[police lineup] Cop: Do you see the guy who ate your plants? Me: Nope Cop: *waving leaf* Wildebeest step forward? WB: *drooling* Goddamnit"
"According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame"
"I love playing chess with bald men in the park, but it's hard to find 32 of them. -Emo Phillips"
"When Copernicus said the Earth goes around the sun I don't think he appreciated the gravity of the situation. Science. History. Punnery."
"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator"
"I came out of the gym the other day and someone asked me, ""How have you got that body?"" I said, ""I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."""
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because of its silent ""p"""
"What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution? A pigeon... ""Coup, coup"""