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Joke of the Day
"First comes the wedding And 5 months later comes the baby."
Next Joke
"[marriage counseling] She's always getting mad at me ""There's a shark living in our pool"" IT WAS SHARK WEEK AND HE WAS ON SALE, KAREN"
"It's funny how you think it's your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep."
"What blood type does a man with bad spelling have? Typo"
"Went to take my dog with no legs for a walk in the park... now its a dragon."
"What's a masturbator's favorite type of weather? Jack-it weather!"
"Its not drinking alone if the highway patrol has informed you they're calling for back up."
"The hardest part about having an ugly child is lying to them when they ask you if you love them."
"Why did the police chief hate going into the basement? Because it was beneath his station. :P"
"Today is Compliment Someone Randomly Day. And may I just say that this paper bag would go beautifully with that outfit you're wearing."