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Joke of the Day

"The Problem With New Jeans I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. ""Was anything wrong with them?"" the clerk asked. ""Yes,"" I said. ""They hurt my feelings."""

Next Joke
 
"I keep getting the urge to purchase a big white bear from the artic... ...Doc says I might have ""Buy Polar"" disorder! EDIT: arctic*"
"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat. :D"
"I went to a Jewish wedding, and spotted a red sign. It said, ""In case of wedding, break glass"""
"BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES"
"What do you call a dog in the library? A hush puppy."
"CUTE GIRL I LIKE: I'm gonna hang up ME TRYING TO FLIRT: No you hang up"
"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-ino"
"What did the set-up say to the punchline? You're nothing but a joke."
"What is the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? The people in Dubai don't watch the Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabidoooo!"