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Joke of the Day

"I was banging a retarded girl last night... She didn't want me to finish in her mouth, so I shot my load on the window and let nature take its course."

"What's the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? Well, the pickpocket snatches watches,"

"I just got Natalie Portman's autograph! Sure, it's on a restraining order, but still..."

"Job Interview ""It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17x19?"" ""36"" ""That's not even close!"" ""But it was quick!"""

"What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's head? The steering wheel."

"What do you call a female barber? A Bobbitt"

"What is atheism? A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word ""religion"" with ""set of beliefs"" if you're picky about that sort of thing"

"Girlfriend: Have you ever been with a fat chick? Me: Nope, you're the first one. Gf: What? Me: What?"

"My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion."

"Today is my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Really? Yes I've been married twenty-five times!"