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Joke of the Day

"I thought I saw Bradley Cooper but it was just every poem ever written formed into a beach sunset with amazing hair"

"I will never vaccinate my child. I'd rather a doctor or nurse do it."

"I tried to catch some fog... I mist."

"Why Can't You Play UNO With Mexicans? They keep stealing the goddamn green cards."

"""So You Think You Can Keep Your Stupid Talent to Yourself and Stop Bothering People?"" would be a show I'd watch."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I live across the street from a KFC."

"Even in the Olympics, women's basketball is un-watchable."

"When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *choke*"

"""Follow your dreams!"" - someone born into money"