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Joke of the Day

"Just got a fancy new bathroom scale that tells you what percentage pizza you are."

"There's a hole in the nudist camp wall... The police are looking into it."

"whats the difference between a woman and a computer ? A woman has no use for a 3 1/2"" inch floppy."

"did you hear about the clumsy musician who tried gardening? he dropped the beet"

"Parents, stop giving your kids these crazy names. I just found a love letter my son wrote to a girl named ""Steven!"""

"How do you circumcise a Texan? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"Putin and Medvedev go to a hooker. The hooker is sucking Putin off and Medvedev is fucking her from behind. Medvedev: Should we swap? Putin: Sure, you can swap."

"Before I go swimming in the ocean... I always slather myself in marmite, that way I have a 50% chance of not getting eaten by a shark."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It doesn't last as long for fat people."

"Religious places never have free WiFi because no religion wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works."