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Joke of the Day

"Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over? HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES"

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."

"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog."

"so embarrassing when u think u nailed the big interview and it turns out he was interviewing the guy behind u the whole time"

"You can get out of jury duty on the first day by blatantly winking at the defendant as you give them a double thumbs up."

"Why was the ghost sad? A lot of different reasons."

"Only attractive people that get laid all the time troll people on the internet. Everybody knows that."

"I started crossfit yesterday And my throat is killing me"

"What's the difference between American girls and Iranian girls? American girls get stoned BEFORE sex."

"if someone wakes up from a twenty year coma, i hope the first thing they see when they turn on a TV is mike tyson petting his pigeons."