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Joke of the Day

"What did the Italian historian ask when he saw the original copies of one of the tragedian's greatest plays? Euripides?"

"How does a nucleus get out of prison? Through the cell wall. *Badum tss* :D"

"What hand do you use to wipe your butt? Right or left? For those that answered right or left, you guys are gross I use toilet paper."

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile!"

"Two Jehovah Witnesses walk into a bar. LOL JK. They knocked."

"A man has undergone the first successful hand transplant in the UK. Doctors say he can move his fingers, but still doesn't have any feeling. Also, he won't come out of the bathroom for some reason."

"I bought perforated paper once It was a total rip off"

"She said I'm 'barely tolerable,' which means there's still a chance"

"Beer nuts are so dang expensive... ...luckily deer nuts are just under a buck."

"What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4? 3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: ""and YOU'RE the math guy!"" >_< Burned.)"