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Joke of the Day

"I now determine the days of the week based on Twitter. Is it Follow Friday yet?"

"I had to study a book on the human digestive system today.... The ending was shit"

"What do you call a Mexican Aunt? A tor-tia."

"What did Professor X said when Cyclops whipped out his penis? ""Keep it in your Jeans"""

"What do you call a paraplegic with Ebola? A parabola."

"In middle school, I had a crush on a kid named BJ. When you write Heather loves BJ on your notebooks, you make a lot of friends."

"Why can't Jewish people view pornography?? Because watching people porkin' just ain't Kosher! Wakakakaka"

"Vanilla Ice should be President If there's a problem, yo, he'll solve it."

"Coworker:I'll take care if it. *Translation* You're gonna take care of it. You just don't know it yet."

"What type of cheese can you see in a mirror? Halloumi! (Hello me)"