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Joke of the Day

"My mom just got out of rehab for her knees Knee addiction is tough, it's one of the toughest habits to kick"

"I couldn't understand why the battery in my cell phone was always flat. Then it occurred to me; it wouldn't fit if it was any other shape."

"my cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it's giving me serious ideas, folks"

"Dear England, Now you know what it feels like when you're out of Europe against your will. Scotland."

"My stages of drunk: 1) onstage 2) backstage 3) hostage"

"*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*"

"What do mathematicians say when they encounter a difficult problem? f(x)"

"I will be answering all questions with both middle fingers this morning."

"What do u call a Jamaican proctologist? Poke'mon"

"I saw that they were opening a new beauty store in Boston. I think it was called ""Boston balmer"""