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Joke of the Day

"my cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it's giving me serious ideas, folks"

"Make it awkward today by asking people what they did for Valentine's Day. When they answer ""dinner"", you should say ""no...after that""."

"I just stepped on a cornflake. Now, I am officially a cereal killer."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb Just juan"

"What's brown and steaming and lies behind the barracks? Gomer's pile."

"Want a slutty costume? Dress up as my professors, they barely cover up anything important."

"How is a moil like a mashgiach? (How is the person who circumcises infants like the person who inspects kosher restaurants?) Their job is to make sure there's no cheese on the meat!"

"What does a prostitute and a lawyer have in common? They both screw you for $300 per hour. What's the difference? Most prostitutes have standards."

"Lost and Found I was reading the lost and found section of the paper and saw this: ""Found, one black boy's bicycle."" Wonder how they knew?"

"I made an app that tells you were people with dwarfism are at all times. I can't be the only one thinking of the imp-locations."