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Joke of the Day
"Know how I know I am getting laid tonight...? Because I am stronger than you."
Next Joke
"How do you stop a dog smelling ? Put a peg on it's nose !"
"Twitter has ruined me. Just wrote ""we'll deliver your load on time"" for a transportation client and broke into peals of laughter."
"Give me coffee to change the things I can change and wine to accept the things I can't."
"Saw a sign that said ""Join a 5k run! Fight childhood obesity!"" Shouldn't the kids just run it themselves?"
"Falling off Bed A lunatic falls off his bed. He quickly gets up. 10 minutes later, he falls again. He thinks to himself ""Good thing I got up 10 minutes ago, or I might have fallen on myself"""
"Dad, What is your favorite music genre ? Elevator music"
"Recent studies have shown that 67% of women have used vibrators The other 33% have brand new ones"
"Life was dangerous when I was young. We answered the phone never knowing who was on the other end."
"The gardener at my work put beer in the garden to catch slugs SO GUESS WHO JUST BECAME A SLUG"