152505

Joke of the Day

"A man gestures to an empty parking lot... and says, ""This is all asphalt."" Then his ass says, ""Don't blame me."""

"Him: I think you're my soul mate. Me: I'm so SO sorry for you."

"I know 27 different jokes about eyeballs... ...But this one's cornea than the rest!"

"Why was the dolphin sad? Because it didn't know it's porpoise in life. Thank you. Thank you."

"You've reached voicemail of [Jim], leave a message. ""Hi it's the library. The book 'How to Steal Library Books' is now 1 week over...UH OH"""

"I like my women like a microwave. She is hot and kills all the babies i put inside her."

"When I retire I plan to study oceanography. (I'll eat like a shark, drink like a fish and lay on the beach like a whale)"

"Why did the african child die while choking on rice? because he had malaria"

"Why are the police so corrupt? Because criminals keep turning themselves into the police."

"I'm going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night."