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Joke of the Day
"Why do you want to be buried at sea? Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave."
Next Joke
"Probing: Aliens have had plenty of time to figure out our biology -now they're just having fun."
"Remember--the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your appearance, lack of talent, and general personality."
"How to be happier: 1. Exercise 2. Lift weight 3. When you've become stronger due to those exercises, smack the person who made you unhappy."
"My friends holds her breath driving past cemeteries cause of superstition but I thought she just didn't want to be cocky about breathing"
"Besides coke residue, what other particles can be found on dollar bills? Stripper poop particles"
"Hear about the kidnapping at school? Don't worry he woke up"
"Saw these ducks in the park today looking at their reflection in the water practicing their teenage slut face."
"Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? A: 'cuz they ain't got balls to scratch!"
"A dad in Alabama says to his son... ""We entered this world from the same birth canal."""