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Joke of the Day

"So a turkey and a ham are walking into a cancer survivors meeting... The ham looks over at the turkey and says: ""What are you doing here? You aren't cured. """

"Wife: Are you gonna wear that to the cookout? Oh... *reaches under mesh shirt* *takes off nipple ring* Better?"

"Sometimes I just start counting and hope the person talking to me will go hide."

"Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the little bitch's house."

"If it wasn't for morning television where would these forgotten musicians perform their 1992 hit singles?"

"What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control? Parents."

"I just found out that the guy who stole my journal has died. My thoughts are with his family."

"Knock knock Who's there. Nobody. Nobody who. (And so concludes this joke from my 3yr old. We think it's pretty good.)"

"Why do teenage girls seem to always hang out in odd numbered groups? Two for me and one for you."