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Joke of the Day

"I overheard my girlfriend on the phone to her bff saying she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day. I hope she finds someone nice."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a lame horse? Elmer"
"""So kids, I was married to your mom & I met this girl on Twitter, we started DMing and one thing led to another"" -How I Met Your Stepmother"
"FAKE BREEDS I'VE TOLD PEOPLE MY DOG IS AT THE DOG PARK: Venetian Dabney, Brown Feta, Waxbeard, Oxnard Pike, Blue Hustler, High Presbyterian"
"Everyone has a photographic memory, some don't have film."
"I recently had to stop making clothes for nuns... It was habit-forming."
"Three Republicans walk into a bar. The bartender says ""We don't serve Republicans here."" The Republicans say ""That's OK...We don't serve you either."
"Want to hear a joke about /r/science ? [Deleted]"
"What do old lady vaginas smell like? Depends."
"That awkward moment someone begins a tweet with ""that awkward moment"" & I slap their face with my dong."