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Joke of the Day

"Why are women dressed white on their wedding day? because all good kitchen appliances come in white."

"Coffee- LET'S DO THIS SHIT Weed- Don't be ridiculous"

"Some people wouldn't understand that skinny jeans and fat genes don't go well together."

"I followed this woman on a bike with an empty baby seat for a half a mile yelling, ""your baby jumped out!"" before she gave me the finger."

"BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered what may be the worlds largest bed sheet. More on that as it unfolds."

"Dad I'm gay *Dad rips newspaper* ""WHAT"" I like guys dad ""Oh thank god. I thought you were happy for a second"""

"You know why they have a cock on the weather vane? If they had a cunt, the wind would blow right through it. -An old fuck."

"What's a chiropractor's busiest day? Throwback Thursday."

"There's no problem you can't solve with a great night of dancing. Except for a broken foot. Then you should see a doctor."

"Genesis is my favorite rock group who've been around long enough to write a chapter in the bible."