151975
Joke of the Day
"cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you me: yeah he was not nice"
Next Joke
"Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines."
"Dog Mechanic: The repair is gonna take longer than expected. ""Why's that?"" Dog Mechanic: The clutch is worn out, also because I am a dog."
"Talking to my old man on the phone Dad: Who was that coughing in the background? Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece? I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss"
"What's a dog's least favorite unit of measurement? Pounds"
"Are you an infidel? 'Cause i beheaden' your way."
"I get all my cardio from sex.... That's why I'm so fat."
"Did you hear about the guy who had to be exorcised? He couldn't pay the priest afterwards and got repossessed."
"Apparently skinny girls are no longer to be called anorexic. They prefer ""trans-fat"""
"[First Date] Me: ""I'm sorry. It's just that I've been burned before."" *Stuffs handful of fries through visor in hazmat suit *Closes visor"