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Joke of the Day

"I'll have an Italian BMT on Cheddar bread with everything but lettuce. A squirt of mayo and yellow mustard too please. Oops. Wrong sub."

"Pro tip: ""Hold my drink"" is not a proper response to ""License and registration, please."" ...... apparently."

"Is no shave November just for men? Asking for my female Italian coworker and her mustache."

"I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but he certainly did not hold back when I took him through the McDonald's drive thru."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made with the juice of the fruit."

"What do numbers look like when they get divorced? 96"

"Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in ""The Crown""? She probably gets royalties"

"What do you call the useless objects a company possesses? Asshats (assets - asshats)"

"You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works."

"To me Bernie Sanders is more like God It is not the guy I have problem with but the fan club freaks me out."