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Joke of the Day
"I hate seeing people I know on Tinder My girlfriend has some explaining to do..."
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"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""Horton heres a"" ""Horton heres a who?"" ""lol yh gud movie m8"""
"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk."
"Of course every kiss begins with k. That's how the English language works, stupid."
"Motels 1 through 5 must've been real dumps."
"If a black dude tweets the N-word... Can I RT that? What the fuck is the protocol here?"
"I always keep a google search for ""how to find anyone, anywhere, and kill them"" open on my phone in case anyone steals it."
"Turns out HR doesn't care if it's national underwear day, you have to wear pants to work."
"*Spider exam: How to scare people out of their mind* Fly Breathe fire Sit still on the ceiling and mind your own business"
"What do people with an extra chromosome wash their clothes with? Downy."