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Joke of the Day

"Just saw myself naked in a full length mirror, and I had an epiphany. Either someone in my family tree had sex with the baboon or pissed off a gypsy."

"I am writing a book about the history of camping. It's all in past tents."

"If Facebook changed ""poke"" to ""stab"" I would use it all the time."

"How do you end a relationship fight? You break it up."

"Did you hear about the twins with a fruit fetish? (May be NSFW) They came in pears"

"I wonder what my dog named me."

"Who is the rudest person in my mathematical family? Aunt Sally"

"What did one ISIS member say to another? ""IED mubarak.."""

"Wife: Hi, did you eat? Me: Did you eat? Wife: Are you copying me? Me: Are you copying me? Wife: I love you! Me: Yes, I already ate"

"What do prayers and my Reddit submissions have in common? No one fucking reads them."