151449

Joke of the Day

"[on a date] I've got butterflies in my stomach ""that's so cute. You dont have to be nervous"" [flashback to me eating some butterflies] ok"

"How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb? Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of."

"Oxymoron Black people"

"A surprising number of people, even in 2010, lack the depth perception to sit in the right airplane row on the first try."

"Let's be honest... Finn was a little bit on the Dark side..."

"What do you call a retarded jelly? A slow jam."

"How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead"

"did you know that protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic!"

"Tired of my wife saying I have no feelings. Do I not cry if you turn off Football? Do I not pout when I can't find good porn? I have layers."

"What is Viagra for lesbians called? Batteries"