151449

Joke of the Day

"[on a date] I've got butterflies in my stomach ""that's so cute. You dont have to be nervous"" [flashback to me eating some butterflies] ok"

Next Joke
 
"A man entered his home and discovered that someone have stole all his lamps.... ...he was absolutely delighted."
"What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation mark? A period, since it ends his sentence."
"BREAKING NEWS: Miami Heat joins LeBron James."
"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool so I decided to give him a glass of water."
"I told a girl she would look better with her hair back and she got really offended. Chemo patients are so sensitive."
"What's common to both Adolf Hitler and Volkswagen? Both of them can kill people with poisonous fumes"
"Obama's announcement Today, President Obama announced that, after January 20th, the official title of ""U.S. Government"" will be changed to include quotation marks around Government."
"Kids should think twice about threatening to run away from home. It only fills their parents with false hope."
"[titanic] SAILER: but captain there's an ice berg right ahead CAPTAIN WHO LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A SHARK: i said straight ahead"