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Joke of the Day

"My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don't think she'd be a good secret agent."

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"Beauty and the Beast (1991): A woman develops Stockholm Syndrome, emotionally bonding with her captor at castle furnished with singing decor"
"What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb. - Steve Martin, ""My Blue Heaven"""
"I knew you would come crawling back to me. Shut up and give me back the wheelchair."
"How do you comfort a grammar Nazi? ""...They're, their, there."""
"Spooning leads to forking But if you fork the wrong dish, you could get knifed."
"Mr. Peanut was arrested for drunk and disorderly at a local Strip Club The arresting officer said it wasn't the first time he'd busted a nut in front of a stripper and it wouldn't be the last."
"How would I describe myself in three words? Eats anything. Beyonce."
"What is Rickon Stark's favourite band ? One Direction."
"I got two front teeth for Christmas! I have no idea who they belong to."