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Joke of the Day
"My cat constantly looks at me like I asked her to give me a ride to the airport."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend pegged me for the first time last night. The sex was great, but I don't know why she insisted on wearing an eye patch."
"My Chinese friend died last night So Yung"
"Doctor Doctor I can't get to sleep. Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off."
"Two people sitting in a park. They see 2 women, kissing, and whatsoever. Guy 1: I really like that, should we go up to them? Guy 2: Uh, lets be honest..."
"Q: What's the safest place to be during a North Korean missile strike? A: The place they are aiming at."
"What Not To Upvote Clickbait"
"[texting] Wife: Clean out your bowels. Me: OK. Wife: *bowls. The ones in the sink Me: *chugging laxatives* Damn it."
"My doctor prescribed me some anti-gloating cream... Now all I want to do is rub it in."
"Body language can be so subtle that only an intuitive person can read your mood. Body slams, I have found, are far more direct."