151034

Joke of the Day

"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."

"My cat and I have lots in common like how we both cry when we're hungry and both put our ass in the air when it's being rubbed."

"If you love something, let it go. Let it run until it reaches the invisible wall & the shock collar you attached to it's ankle cripples them"

"What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat? The wheelchair..."

"What's the only disease a potato can get? tuber-culosis"

"There is nothing wrong with window puns, I just don't like to shed light on them."

"Why did the artist go to the bakery? For shortening!"

"I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"""I saw mommy kissing santa claus"" has the same number of syllables as ""I saw someone die at Disney World."" Life's funny like that."

"My run today was like my last date. Short, slow, and frigid."