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Joke of the Day

"What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room? MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

"What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf? You get eaten is what you get. Stop upsetting scary animals."

"How much sex does a sister of the church get? Nun"

"Why didn't the Christmas Cake go to the dance? He had his raisins..."

"[ first date ] Me. Do you take drugs? Him. I never touch them. Me. Perfect. Can I have a urine sample?"

"What do you call a slutty telescope? A horoscope."

"My stats prof is so romantic... He keeps talking about his Bayes' Theorem"

"Why is it so hard to contact comedians? Because their marketing is a joke."

"Who was the greatest motherfucker in history? Oedipus."

"What do you call a midget psychic committing a crime? Small medium at large."