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Joke of the Day

"HOLD YOUR HORSES. TELL YOUR HORSES YOU LOVE THEM. DONT BE TOO STRICT WITH YOUR HORSES OR THEY'LL DATE OLDER HORSES GET TATTOOS & HAVE PONIES"

"Wanna hear a funny joke? Woman's rights. Sorry for the sexism here, but i saw this and laughed my head clean off"

"What is a woman ? Man with a uterus somewhere"

"What do you tell your bird when it doesn't want to urinate? Pee cock!"

"Pretzels come in twist shape because the twist is how disappointed you are in your snack."

"I told my therapist that no one understands me... She said, ""What do you mean by that?"""

"How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it."

"[Different] Why isn't Hitler in Mario Kart? Because he can Nazi the road."

"General: Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy? Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir."

"""Oh, we're going for a 30 second car ride? OK, let me gather all of my worldly possessions and get a little naked."" - my 2 year old"