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Joke of the Day

"A new and better nail clipper was invented today What a cutting-edge technology it is"

"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."

"A tiny Shaquille o Neil inside a footlong sub lookin up at you and crying cuz he don't wanna be eaten"

"I read a whole book on adhesive substances last night, I just couldn't put it down"

"My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it's there to stab potential taco thieves."

"How school works: 2+2=4. Homework: 2+4+2=8. Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Suns mass."

"When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad."

"what did the ocean say to the other ocean ? nothing they just waved."

"I was doing the dishes and i realized.. If we could cover our Military vehicles in dried egg yolk we would be unstoppable."

"""1990 called, they want their shirt back."" ""...why didn't you warn them about 9/11?"""